Five Ways to Enjoy Holidays with Family and Stick to a Plant-Based Lifestyle

I remember when I was growing up, the “ideal” holiday image on the Norman Rockwell-painted plate that hung on our kitchen wall. You know, the one with everyone smiling around the dinner table as the matriarch of the family serves the big turkey.

You may also recall this image. If not on a painted plate, you certainly have witnessed this kind of holiday meals image portrayed in many television programs and magazines. Possibly with the patriarch carving that overly glamorized bird.

But let’s get real. Rarely is everyone all smiles with zero stress around the holidays. When it comes to changing tradition due to changing your eating style and beliefs, the family can be set on an emotional roller-coaster, especially if you aren’t prepared to handle the situation in a loving and peaceful way.

The holidays may flow incredibly well for some people, but for others…not so much. You’re dealing with not only the unique family dynamics of personalities and idiosyncrasies but also the dynamics of foods, lifestyles, and expectations during this time.

So often foods served during the holidays are foods of tradition. Traditions can be a gift, but they can also be a gift wrapped in great emotion. Even if your family normally eats healthy, it can be hard emotionally to let go of the routine of certain dishes during holiday time.

Why?

One reason is that certain dishes may represent family and culture. Perhaps your family’s traditional holiday recipe originated from your great-great-grandmother or your Aunt Dorothy. Not making (or not eating) these dishes can flip the silence of this unstated obligation so it becomes deafening.

Oh, the power of guilt! The guilt over not making certain foods and then more guilt when you don’t eat them can only make your holidays less enjoyable and take your focus off the meaning of the celebration.

Another reason is that memories are attached to each dish, and food is often connected to a “feeling.” A dish may have become a way of memorializing a loved one. While expressing your love for another is a beautiful thing, you can express that love in new ways, such as going around the table with each person and sharing one memory of that person. This is more likely to spark meaningful conversation over dinner than, “Please pass the green bean casserole with bacon.”

In this day and age, divorce, job relocation, etc., have led to families becoming more dispersed. Food is something that, despite this dispersion, still fosters a feeling of togetherness and unity. The thing to keep in mind, though, is that it’s not the food we crave per se…it’s the feelings of togetherness, fellowship, and what the memories around the dinner table represent — family!

Five ideas for coping with family holiday meals

So, how do you stay inclusive without abandoning your whole-food, plant-based lifestyle? Here are five suggestions for enjoying your holidays with family without going off-plan.

One. If you know your family won’t budge, then take it upon yourself to eat before you go to the festivities. This approach will allow you to nibble without gorging on the available foods. Most of the time there will at least be a veggie tray to dig into if nothing else. But, since it is a holiday, you might decide to give yourself the green light to have just one small item not on your plan, without overindulging.

Two. Offer to bring a dish or two with you to the family gathering. This way you know for sure that there will be something you can sink your teeth into, while also being a healthy example for your family. Who knows, they may want your tasty recipe! This could be a small seed planted for the newest up-and-coming whole-food, plant-based, or vegan family member.

Three. Keep your food opinions to yourself. This is not the time to share, and the same rings true regarding religion and politics. Remember the “More is caught than taught” model. You don’t have to say too much. People will notice.

They may also choose to take offense. Again, there are great emotions around food, and rejection of food often feels like personal rejection. However, there’s also a balance in loving yourself and the other person without feeling obliged to exhibit a people-pleaser mentality. Be respectful of their point of view (and their efforts, if they made the meal).  Tread lightly with a smile. Love them through this, because it’s not about you.

Four. Offer to host the meal at your home. This is the best scenario. You can cook all whole-food plant-based options and offer one or two traditional dishes as well to help ease the family into this idea. Of course, let them know ahead of time that they’ll be experiencing a new food adventure this holiday season. Hopefully, you’ll get approval from your family and dazzle their taste buds like never before. Seriously, I’m thinking about chocolate avocado pudding right now as I write this, and my mouth is watering!

Five. Come prepared for a healthy recipe swap with family members. They may not appreciate your food choices because they don’t know good recipes, and they’ve never cooked this style of food for themselves. Print off a few recipes and take them with you to the gathering. If anyone asks you about your food choices during the meal, you can offer them one of your favorite recipes to try sometime when they are feeling bold in the kitchen.

Enjoying the holidays with family while sticking with your plant-based lifestyle is very doable. It’s really up to you. Remember your “why” — the reason you made your lifestyle choice to begin with — to keep your resolve firm.

Something else to ponder…

When you stay true to your lifestyle during the holidays, how much might you impact your family and friends, based on the “More is caught than taught” model?

Click here to read the article in VEGWORLD magazine.